Ladies and Gentlemen (Part Two)

House of Worth evening gown, 1897

I will continue my series by repeating the following two points: first, that the foundation of good manners is understanding that other people are real and, second, that my context is the East Coast of Scotland in 2023.

I will add that when it comes to "the done thing," there is a difference between fashion--changing ephemera, like what sells best in Primark--and behaviour. Naturally, one influences the other. The shortening of skirts, cutting of hair, and baring of backs in the 1920s did not usher in an age of chastity. 

It is tempting at this point to write at great length about women's clothing: a sure attention-getter on the internet and beyond. Let us see first what Authority says. 

What Authority Says

Mrs Humphry (1897) devotes a chapter to defending the "irrational dress" worn by women of her time, arguing that women who adopt "rational dress" (promoted by early feminists) risk being called "dowdy" by their male acquaintances and never escorted by them to restaurants. She also suggests that wearing "eccentric" clothing leads the wearer to become "eccentric" herself. Above all, she condemns the "intense vulgarity in dressing in loud colours and glaring styles in order to attract attention to herself."  

Ward, Lock & Co (1930) rules that the "true lady is always well, because suitably, dressed. She sacrifices extremes of fashion to comfort, puts her clothes on carefully and properly, is scrupulously particular about shoes, gloves and neckwear, and then never gives them another thought. She displays little jewellery out of doors, reserving her diamonds for evening wear, and never wears anything which would attract undue attention either to her appearance or her conduct." 

Sarah Maclean (1962, no relation) states that "the basis and first rule of all good dressing remains what it has always been: to wear the right thing at the right time and place." She then writes several sensible pages about what to wear at various times and places in 1962 and (third edition) 1963. Civilization in the United Kingdom then fell off a cliff, so if you're a woman at one with me on the project of restoring it, I invite you to follow her advice, except for the wearing of hats and gloves. There are few hats you can get away with wearing now without attracting "undue attention," so choose very carefully. Wearing even white cotton gloves in the heat of the summer anywhere except a wedding or the King's Garden Party may attract quizzical looks and, in Scotland, rude remarks. 

Why God cares what you wear

Unlike podcast moralists, these Authorities have nothing to say about women's clothing leading men to perdition. (They leave the Care and Feeding of a Lady's Reputation to other chapters.) My own view, which is certainly different from the one I held before I understood that men are not deformed women, is that we are our brothers' keepers. Good manners between the sexes is the understanding that members of the opposite sex are real and have their own real challenges. 

Women-in-general find it difficult to do a pull-up on the chin-up bar. Men-in-general find it difficult not to look lustfully at a woman in tight, revealing clothes. It is very bad manners to wear skin-tight leggings and a crop top to class and then, when challenged, say that men need to learn custody of the eyes. The woman who says this does not understand that men are real and have their own real challenges. She has made the same error as the man who neglects to see a female friend safely to her doorstep, train or bus at night--or thinks it is a terribly funny joke to put her in a headlock or to creep behind her on the street and grab her arms. 

I seem to have strayed from my intention to instruct men how to ask a woman for a dance and women how to accept or reject the dance gracefully. I shall leave that for next time and just tell my interested audiences  what men and women wear to the TLM in Edinburgh.

Clothing: The Right Thing at the Right Time and Place

TLM in Edinburgh

There is no longer a canonical requirement for women to cover their heads at Mass; I am not sure if the Code of Canon Law still states, as it did in 1917, that men must remove their hats upon entering the church. Nevertheless, boys and men almost invariably do and should remove their hats upon entering any Christian church (among other places, like the parish hall, a ballroom, or a private home). 

At diocese-approved Traditional Latin Masses in Scotland, most--but not all--women cover their heads, either with a chapel veil (mantilla), a scarf, or a hat. Most--but not all--women wear a skirt and top, or a skirt suit, or a dress. The hemlines of these skirts and dresses stop at the knee, the ankle, or somewhere in between. 

It is worth noting that the majority of women in Edinburgh who wear trousers to the TLM and remain bareheaded are over 60. But even if you are a young woman visitor and don't have a scarf, a veil or a hat with you, just come on in. (If you go to the SSPX chapel, however, you will be required to borrow a veil, and if you are wearing trousers you will be the only woman so attired.) You risk making a poor impression if you appear at a Sunday TLM in sloppy athletic wear, a short skirt, or leggings (unless you are wearing a long skirt over the leggings). You will stick out like a baboon's blue bottom, distracting both your brothers and sisters in Christ.

For the same reason, I hold that you should never be the only woman at a Novus Ordo wearing a chapel veil. If you feel you simply can't go to Mass bareheaded, tie a scarf around your hair, pull on a beret, or find a seasonal hat. Taking care not to distract Catholics at the Novus Ordo is honouring the fact that Catholics at the Novus Ordo are real. 

Most men at the diocese-approved Traditional Latin Mass in Edinburgh seem to wear their traditional "Sunday best," whatever that best happens to be. Some wear ties. Some do not. Some wear jackets. Others wear pullovers. Some wear jackets AND pullovers. Some wear jackets and waistcoats. Others just wear dress shirts tucked into their trousers. Some wear corduroy trousers, a woolly jumper, a tie and a tweed jacket. A few wear a matching jacket and trousers with a tie (e.g. the classic navy blue suit), which I believe is the lay male TLM uniform in some parts of the United States. 

It goes without saying that men do not wear T-shirts, shorts, or athletic wear to the Edinburgh TLM. (Little boys and girls wear whatever their parents succeed in struggling them into, but in general little girls wear skirts or dresses, too, and they look very sweet.)

The custom of unmarried girls wearing white mantillas and married or widowed women wearing black mantillas is observed in Edinburgh but not stringently. I'm not sure we all even know about this custom or if it should be called a "custom." It may be merely a "fashion."

It is the height of bad manners for someone to reprove a stranger for his or her attire at Mass. (I suppose a priest might have a word with a man.) If the inappropriately dressed stranger is female, she realized her error long before the Kyrie, guaranteed. If she can overcome her embarrassment--and nobody is rude to her--she will be back the next week in a maxi-skirt and scarf. 

Here, by the way, is my favourite mantilla maker.  

Trad Tea Dances/Waltzing Parties

To my great joy, the guests all decided to come to my first Waltzing Party dressed smartly. From photographs taken at the event, I see that most of the men wore dark suits and ties. All the women wore skirts or dresses. One young man and one young lady even wore white gloves. They did not set a fashion for white gloves at waltzing parties, but everyone seems to have agreed that Mrs McLean's Waltzing Parties are dress-up events. 

Everywhere Else 

The overarching rule that seems to govern clothing worn in public in Scotland is that the clothes must be clean and, in the city, be new, look new or come "distressed" from the manufacturer. (In the country you can wear your wool-and-tweed and waxed-thread raincoat to rags.) It is much easier to wear cheap new clothes than to repair good old clothes because cheap clothes are so very cheap. (This is, of course, problematic for reasons I won't get into today.)

Football clobber

The one taboo I know of is the wearing the uniform (or "strip") of football teams in certain bars and pubs.  I would also advise visitors to Scotland not to wear association football jerseys in the street. There's a whole protocol around Scottish football that you probably don't know. 

University  

Having consulted a Edinburgh Uni student, I can safely say that you can wear anything you like to class, from cashmere and tweed to the same sweatshirt and joggers every day. This makes it easy for Catholic girls--and any other girls--who wish to wear modest, feminine clothing to do so.

Law 

Regarding lack of clothing, men can legally go bare chested in Scotland and women cannot. A very few very young women sometimes take their tops off in public anyway to flout the law, or show that they are just as good as men, or to further the decline of Western Civilization. 

In the immortal words of the American comedienne Laura Horn, "Try that in a Trad Crowd." 

Restoring Western Civilization

On Sunday afternoons I often stare out the top of a double-decker bus at the shoppers walking up and down Edinburgh's Princes Street. To relieve the gloom, I play a game called "Spot a well-dressed person" or "Find a woman wearing a skirt." 

In winter especially, this is a challenging game. Almost everyone on the street is wearing blue jeans or black leggings and a dark casual coat. For contrast, have a look at photographs or films of Edinburgh in the 1950s, 1960s--even the early 1970s. I get the sense from these artifacts that back then people dressed as though they thought other people were real and very likely judging their attire from the tops of passing busses. 

Princes Street even takes on a slightly sinister atmosphere on Saturday nights as women in stiletto heels, low-cut necklines, and high-cut hems (or the ubiquitous black leggings) totter onto Frederick Street. In winter they sometimes drape wooly scarves around their necks in place of overcoats, bosoms open to the elements. What their masculine counterparts are wearing I couldn't tell you, as I'm too intimidated to look at them. 

As I wrote above, women readers interested reversing our societies' downward spiral could do worse than find a copy of Sarah Maclean's The Pan Book of Etiquette and Good Manners and decide if they can follow her advice without attracting undue attention. Men readers, however, should ignore the 1897 fashion tips in Mrs Humphry's Manners for Men. 

I have little hope of bringing white gloves back into fashion, but if enough of us tried hard enough, we could Make Edinburgh Look Like a House of Bruar Catalogue Again! 

Update: What are the clothing customs or fashions of your TLM community?