Pilgrimages and Gallantry

Bifil that in that seson on a day, 

In Southwerk at the Tabard as I lay, 

Redy to wenden on my pilgrymage 

To Caunterbury with ful devout corage, 

At nyght were come into that hostelrye 

Wel nyne and twenty in a compaignye 

Of sondry folk, by áventure y-falle 

In felaweshipe, and pilgrimes were they alle, 

That toward Caunterbury wolden ryde. 

Perhaps I am getting old, but I cannot imagine flirtation on the Chartres Pilgrimage. The morning start is too early, the streets bewildering, the banlieus menacing, the feet soon hurting. The woods are muddy and teem with ticks. Loud prayers, hymns and reflections shout from megaphones. Students assuage the pain with raucous songs. The campgrounds are ludicrously crowded. The pace is incredible. The queues for the portaloos would strike despair in the heart of a saint.

The Chartres Pilgrimage is meant to be penitential, and it is. The more people who go, the more penitential it is, and its leadership, like Europe, seems to be simultaneously proud of and dismayed by the ever-larger number of foreigners who turn up. At any rate, it would seem that Sartre-like resentment has been added to the rigours of Chartres, and Rosbif et Les Autres are being encouraged to stay at home and have our own pilgrimages, t*******, h*****. *

There are already kinder, gentler pilgrimages, and I'm not even thinking about the kind that involve busses, aeroplanes and a superabundance of Old Age Pensioners. I'm thinking of good old (i.e. new) devotional walking holidays, where feet do get a bit tired, but there's a glass of beer at some friendly hostelry at the end of the day. The pace is slower, and nobody shouts at anyone in French. I would like to go on such a pilgrimage myself, but my husband's health prevents it. So far I have only heard about them. 

And one thing I hear is that there is definitely scope for flirtation on such easy-going traditional pilgrimages. Young men who consider themselves of marriageable age survey the teenage girls before them and plan their attack, fall like wolves upon the fold, strike up conversations and introduce themselves. The teenage girls, carefully and tenderly guarded at home or in convent schools, discover that, as surely as if they were introduced at a Debutante Ball, they are now Out. 

This can be good, and this can be bad. It's good because traditional Catholic communities are small and far-flung and members meeting each other on pilgrimage unites, develops, and strengthens them. It's good because young men and women of marriageable age (although for the record I do not consider teenagers to be of marriageable age) should have plentiful opportunities to find a spouse within the Church. It's good because teenage girls need to learn how to handle male attention some time, and pilgrimage is a relatively safe place to do that. 

But only relatively. For one thing, not everyone brings their parents, so there is no natural check or guard upon the behaviour of the young people who are, after all, strangers or near-strangers to each other. A 40-year-old father of six knows that his 15-year-old daughter is too young to be chatted up by a pipe-smoking 22-year-old, but the 22-year-old might not think so. A mother who has prayed all his life for her son to be spared the chaos she grew up in will not be delighted when he attaches his affections to a young convert whose family are the terror of their housing estate. **

For another, some pilgrims are weird. Let no-one doubt my attachment to the Traditional Latin Mass or the communities that spring up about it! I have poured out time, treasure and tea on behalf of the local TLM for fifteen years now, and I demand the right to tell the unfortunate truth that not all Trads are good, Harry. Some--I hope only a few--have ideas about women shared by the godless Boomers who ran communes in the 1960s. 

Were I the queen of the world, I would have a designated chaperone--a woman over 30--for every five young pilgrims under 25. My ideal chaplain chaperone would be quiet but watchful, someone who likes young people and can be trusted with their secrets but also will know when to tell a young man to buzz off and how to tell a young lady without offence to cool it. 

It seems crazy to me that chaperonage--one of the very useful roles of older women--was killed off in or by World War II, when it continues to be so clearly necessary. The fact is that most girls do not leave the home- or all-female schoolroom equipped to deal with male attention, let alone with the ability to discover swiftly what kind of men they are meeting or what kind of homes produced them. There should be a social halfway house, and well-chaperoned events, like pilgrimages, could be it.

All that said, in the absence of properly designated chaperones, there are, I believe, usually older women around on a pilgrimage, and if a girl finds herself unable to cope with ardent male attention, she should ask one of them for help. (Of course, she might also try the priest chaplain.) 

This rule-of-thumb is true for the public street, by the way. Many years ago I was the object of North African gallantry in a bus station in Frankfurt, and although I managed at last to extricate myself, the German student I complained to afterwards asked in bewilderment why I had not simply asked one of the old German ladies around to help me. The reasons were that I was too embarrassed and that I didn't realize then that the OGL were longing to save me from the Young Man of Southern Appearance (to quote Frankfurter "Wanted" posters) and were only waiting for me to say the word. 

Thus, dear young ladies, if ever in over your heads in a social situation, please say the word so that your spiritual mothers can save you. In their absence, shouting LEAVE ME ALONE is known to be effective, as is simply running away. 

*To be honest, these are Canadian French swears. I don't know any France French swears. 

** In case I have inadvertently hit the mark, know that I am not referring to specific individuals. I am  definitely too old and beset by earthly cares to enjoy creating Drama.