I read a post on Facebook that no traditionalist friend of the writers's had shared this story, so I will share it.
To sum up: a mother brought her daughters to an Adoration Chapel one night. One of the daughters, in her early teens, was wearing short denim shorts. A woman in her 50s who often keeps watch in the Adoration Chapel approached the girl in short-shorts, draped her own coat over the girl's legs, indicated the tabernacle and said "Cover up--this is Jesus we're talking about here."
The girl must be a nice girl, for instead of saying "F U grandma," she cried tears of mortification. And her mother must be a kind woman, for instead of hissing at the old bat, she just took her daughters away.
My very first thought, alas, was to wonder why a teenage girl was wearing short-shorts at all. However, my next thought was that it is utterly utterly outrageous for anyone to approach a complete stranger and place her dirty clothes upon them. Doing this while she is praying is even more outrageous. Doing this in front of her mother just compounds the seriousness of the offence.
What women should wear in church, or indeed in public, after we have hit puberty is an issue different from appropriate comportment in church. The best time to make a remark about anyone's clothing at church is when creating a sign reading "Please come in no matter what you are wearing: feel free to take a shawl from the box."
As a matter of fact, you can't get into St. Peter's Basilica in short shorts, no matter if you are a man or a woman. Many people buy outrageously priced scarves from vendors, drape them around their naked arms or legs, and toddle in unabashed.
But again I am wronging concentrating on the short-shorts (but human beings do, alas, that's how we are). The main point is: don't be a nasty old bat.
What an awful experience for that young girl.
ReplyDeleteYes, very yucky. I hope she forgives the older woman and comes back to church.
DeleteOh, I read the guy's piece, and...whatev. It might have been done in a nasty way, and it might not.
ReplyDeleteI will say, I have seen a woman cover up another woman in Church before--for Mass, at a men's monastery. The insufficiently-clad woman was wearing leggings that stretched across an otherwise uncovered and quite amply rounded rear....incidentally, there was a sign at the entrance desiring that visitors, both male and female, cover themselves to a certain standard of modesty....
The woman who intervened did it so kindly. She approached and whispered (I couldn't hear what was said). After a few moments, she offered a spare cardigan, indicating how it could form a sort of short skirt, if tied around the waist. Ms. Insufficiently Clad accepted this without any resentment, and seemed interested by the idea that her dress mattered in this place. Ms. Intervener went back to her pew. Eventually, however, Ms. Insufficiently Clad seemed to wish to be free of the cardigan, and removed it. Ms. Intervener made no further move (she was absorbed in her prayers), and the mass proceeded without further incident. None of the monks at any point had flickered a glance at the congregation, let alone at either of the two women. They were absorbed in prayer.
-Amused
I take it this was an adult woman? Honestly, though, it wasn't the other woman's place to do that. Yes, leggings at Mass are a horror, and I do not understand why there's a woman alive who can't get that. But the place for the fashion police is at the door, or at the queue to get in--as at St. Peter's. I will soften my tone, though, if this happened in Poland or some other Central European country. I find the Polish policing of Polish norms and standards rather charming, although younger Poles find the we're-pretending-not-to-notice Anglo-Saxon world a restful change.
DeleteI'm sort of amazed that the leggings thing seems to have persisted in North America. I haven't seen it in Australia since about 2010. The women at my university were leftist feminists (or totally uninterested in identity politics) and they dressed like Regina Spektor rather than Miley Cyrus. But they were hipsters who sewed etc.
DeleteHas it? I didn't notice in August (too hot in D.C.?) and Canadian Februarys are too cold to see any indoor clothes but those of family and friends.
DeleteWe'll have to agree to disagree, I'm afraid! I don't think there can be a hard-and-fast rule that you can't talk to a woman about her clothing in church. Of course there are contexts/situations in which it would do more harm than good. Of course one should be kind. Of course one should not try to embarrass anyone. Of course the motivation should be charity. But we all know women go into churches pretty much half naked, and it's not ok. And no, churches other than major Italian basilicas (ok, I dunno about Poland) just don't have officials checking at the door and handing out shawls. [Do we actually want that? Imagine the howls if parishes in the US instituted official modesty police at the door....]
DeleteWould anyone have a problem with telling shirtless men that they need to go out and put something on? I doubt it. I come from a part of the US where shirtless men are routinely kicked out of libraries and stores. I can't even imagine how insensitively they'd be treated if they dared enter a church in such a state...not that they would, because they all know better. Why do women get a pass for tube/bikini tops, leggings, and short-shorts?Because women take offense so easily? Well, I don't think we should get a pass on unacceptable behaviour for being sensitive. I think that kind of demeans women, actually.
All of that being said, I personally loathe getting in situations where I might hurt or offend someone (of look like a busybody), and have never spoken to someone about their clothes in such a context in my life. I feel sure I'd mess it up. But that's not to say someone ought not, in some situations, if they can do it with charity. It could do a lot of good. Haven't any of us ever felt a bit stung when kindly corrected, only to realize later that it was good for us?
btw, the story I related happened in Italy ;-)
DeleteSomeone wore a bikini top in church?
DeleteSometimes fellow parishioners can be rude. Once before mass I sat down to pray. I heard a woman behind me comment, "She should be kneeling." I was feeling pain throughout my body that day. I eventually found out that I'm vitamin d deficient and later have fibromyalgia. I'm a young adult, so they might've thought that I was in good health. That's still no excuse though.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I was disturbed months ago to see some of the girls hosting my brother's Catholic high school talent show wearing short shorts. Immodesty appears to be normalized. My mom watches "Say Yes to The Dress" and brides keep saying that they want to look sexy for their wedding. Save it for when you're alone with your husband.
That is so rude. Honestly, people should not speak in church (except for Mass responses, of course) unless it is absolutely necessary, i.e. "If you don't stop poking your brother, I will take you outside.") Meanwhile, your story reminded me of my shock at my youngest sister's pre-graduation Mass. Some of her fellow students were wearing the world's tiniest uniform kilts, and I was stunned until I remembered that in my day many of my classmates wore the world's tiniest uniform kilts, and we thought nothing of it. In short, teenage girls have no clue how immodest their clothing can be, which is why it's really parents' responsibility to clue them in.
DeleteAt my sister's high school graduation Mass, all the girls dressed like they were ready for the club, except for the South Asian girls, who wore sarees (is that the spelling?)
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